 |
| Let me out please. |
Epiphany’s catch us by surprise, cause physical pain as it
wretches open truths hidden and sends the wind of change through life.
I was asked by a dear friend today what I am enjoying about
retirement, where I am finding joy.
 |
| Bleeding hearts in our garden are struggling against a cold spring. |
Paul, my family, crafting, camping all ran through my
thoughts and then came good old epiphany and my answer to her rang with soul wrenching truth “nothing.”
You see I knew joy and a passion for life prior to my
retirement and since retirement life has not contained the same joy or
passion, the colours of my life while still there are muted, no longer bright.
 |
| Tuesday we baked muffins together |
I described how I prepared for retirement by creating a vision
board of the things that bring me joy or that I have always wanted to do, never having time.
That I am using the vision board to begin to put a life
together for myself.
I am walking through life when what I want to do is run.
 |
| Tuesday we also sew together this is the beginning of her semi formal dress. |
Epiphany was not done with me and the second punch came when I
heard myself and said “… if I can walk I know I can run I just have to let it
happen”
My belief prior to retirement that I would not enjoy it was getting in the way of my ability to find joy and passion.
 |
| Thursday we are at the horse barns sharing our granddaughter's love of all things horse. |
And that I need to honour my truly overwhelming struggle with the lack of structure, lack of focus, by
the sheer ability to do what I want when I want retirement has presented me with.
How crazy is that?!
 |
| Today we went thrifting for our granddaughter towels to clean Ellie with. |
With this knowledge the harsh mother voice in my head screamed
“Get
over yourself, your life is privileged in ways that most of planet can only hope
for...”
And with my friends silent support the harsh mother lost it's voice and a plan to find joy again began to form.
 |
| Today I connected for the first time since retiring in January 2019 with a friend at work. |
For those of you that know me it will not surprise you that my plan is to write about my epiphanies from today and through my writing create a
path on which I can run past the cloud of depression that hovers above me back
into the sunshine.
 |
| While in Owen Sound we completed some running around and drove down by the habour where spring high water is very evident. |
Grandma Snyder
©2013-2019 twosnydergirls
3 comments:
Sad that you do not enjoy retirement, we love the freedom we have, able to constantly be in the move , seeing new places and scenery, spending more quality times with family and friends, meeting new people. The outside fresh air and constant changing seasons in our travels. Works wonders for us.
But retirement is not for everyone.Find your joy and go with it.
Thank you for taking the time to comment - I believe that I still need time to figure out retirement - love your blog
Glad you enjoy the blog, we had a plan all figured out before we retired/quit work, Travel all the time, avoid the cold winter weather, and see new sights, meeting new people, visit family and friends, keep the tires turning and this just keeps on happening. Everyone does retirement differently though, find you niche and go with it.
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