I live, work and breath words every moment of my waking hours. I am good at my trade, my job and it is words! Words spoken and thought about designed to influence, describe, challenge, support, comfort, and understand.
Words that help me enter into the reality of other people.
Words meant to redefine the reality we live in.
Words that help me understand myself and my relationship to the world.
And lately I have become worried that my human words are too limiting for my Creator, my God. That through my dependence on words I am limiting God in my life and I am creating a God that is too human, too small, and too vengeful.
I took my worry to the Caring and Sharing time in our small Mennonite Church Service and asked if others would join with me in a weekly time of meditation of silence.
I can only speak of my experience as we did not share words. We shared only the human noise of movement, and body.
I sought to stop thinking, to just experience God in God’s house. I positioned myself comfortably and began the repetition of the Jesus prayer as I know it.
Lord Jesus Christ Holy Son of God
have mercy on me for I am a sinner
A clock somewhere in the building comfortably measured each second and soon my mantra and breathing matched the tick tock. When my mind wondered I patiently brought it back to the mantra.
I had taken with me a Bible, hymnal, pencil and journal to write in. I was unsure how these would fit into my time of silence and at some point I opened the Bible and was drawn to words chronicling the families of the Old Testament.
I struggle against the conscious attempts to understand the meaning behind these words - I went back to the mantra. At some later point I had words to write down.
You are a daughter of creation
This became my mantra thereafter and my spirit grew in the knowledge of a personal God that Love Me!
Sometime later I found myself opening the Hymnal and the hymn was Great is Thy Faithfulness. I silently sang the words of this hymn to God and my spirit soared higher.
You are a daughter of creation and “I change not, my compassions, they fail not. As I have been I forever will be”
I am faithful to you my daughter whom I created
In the silence I created space for God to nurture my soul.
I will return next week and once again silence my words so that I can notice the voice of God.