For those of us who will herald in a new year on midnight of December 31st two types of activities are very common, if not expected, of us.
The first is to reflect back on the year that has past, to take stock of how we did. And the second is to look forward to the new year, to establish goals and make improvements.
I want to start by offering that 2015 was perfect: each day, project, trip, relationship was
perfect. The outcome was the best that it could be given all of the factors and resources that were applied. This world view for the most part eliminates regret, a self defeating activity at the best of times.
I know that what I am proposing is semantics: I am playing with words. Yes, I knew some perfect messes in 2015 and they were created by the resources I did or did not apply to the activity.
Adding the word 'perfect' brings optimism into the equation. I can use what I learned and apply it to the next project achieving another perfect outcome.
My granddaughter, in designing a top for her doll, was frustrated and angry, “Grandma, it did not turn out. I can’t sew!” My response was to say “What you made is perfect! This is your first sewing project and look how well you did. You drew a picture of what you wanted and created that. It is perfect, now what do you want to change the next time…..”
Tears, frustration, self-doubt were replaced with a smile and a decision to learn from her first project and to go on to design a second perfect project from which to learn.
Resolution versus Decisions
I also do not make resolutions.
- the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc.
- the act of resolving something,
- an answer or a solution to something,
"New Year’s resolutions" have become the same as making wishes. If I want to change or learn something I need to do more than make a resolution in this manner. I need to make a decision to do something new or different.
- a choice that you make about something after thinking about it
- the result of deciding.
Like Christmas, New Year activities of reflection resolution often leave adults and children with feelings of loss, frustration and worst of all, self-loathing.
My New Year’s prayer for you is that you see your accomplishments as just that --accomplishments and that if you are going to change anything in 2015 you begin the journey to change.
Your life is not a problem to be resolved - it is a journey to be taken in an attitude of hope.