Airlines understand this as do first responders, you must look after yourself before you can attend to those who are dependent on you and so did Grandma.
She always served herself at the table first and when asked why she said "because I will be the person who leaves the table first to look after you and your Grandfather" – she was right and knowing this she made sure she had time to eat.
This weekend was very busy and I lost track of me as I played with grandchildren, invited mother over for a meal and prepared for Paul’s family Christmas dinner. I enjoyed doing all of these activities yet by 7:00 pm on Sunday I was unsettled, resentful and tried.
It came to me as I lay in a hot bath I had spent the weekend being mindful of everything except me and this is what I resented. No one had done it to me I just forgot about me.
As we approach one of the most demanding times of the year it will be important to be mindful of yourself. Create space each day for a quiet cup of tea, 30 minutes to pray or medicate, take a bath, write in a journal, take a walk etc.
Listen to your body and mind to decide what time of day you need to take time for yourself. Be selfish about this because it will mean you have more energy to be mindful of those around you.
I have a childhood memory of a kitchen full of cousins everyone covered in flour as we made Christmas cookies with our Grandmother. All of a sudden we noticed that she was sitting in her favourite chair with her apron pull up over her face. Silence settled on us as we tried to take in this strange event, in a little while Grandma pulled her apron away from her face, got up and said "now for jam jams" with all the energy of a younger woman.
We asked her what had just happened and nonchalantly she said "Oh God and I were just talking". Years later I would learn that this was how she took her time how she learned to be mindful of herself.