Monday, 21 July 2014

Because we are family.

Grandparents holding two babies

We are all born into a biological family.  A group of people to whom we are connected by genetics and it is at this point that the “we are all” ends.  In the moments that followed our birth how and "what family means" becomes unique to each of us. 

The truth about my family is only my truth and while similar to the truths my siblings hold theirs will be different.  Our birth order, the age of our parents at the time of our birth, what was happening in the world all conspire to ensure that my understanding of “our” family is very different than my siblings or my parents for that matter.

There are the minor glitches in life that draw attention to this, when one member of the family recalls an event or series of events and you are left scratching your head thinking when did that happen?  And there are the major events that cause an entire family system to stumble and take stock of who and what they know about the family.
Black and white picture of a family standing together

This weekend I experienced just such a stumble when one member of the family actions were experienced as emotionally painful by another with the end result being the building of a permanent barrier between family members.   

I believe we remain family regardless of barriers, anger and hurt feelings – we are genetically linked and we share the building blocks of common memories - events that helped to make us each who we are individually and as a family.

Do family members have to like each other? No, life tells us that siblings have fought and killed each other since beginning of time and they are recorded in history first as family members, then sibling and finally as victim and abuser.

What are we to do when our family stumbles?  Do we call family meetings?  Plan interventions? Some family’s do, while others disinherit, stop talking, move away and create other types of families with other people.

What will I do?  

  • I will continue to pray for all of the members of my family, 
  • I will respect that I do not understand what our family means to them or how being a member of the family impacts them personally. 
  • I will acknowledge that a family is made up of as many truths as there are members. 
  • I will move on with my life and should the day come that a call for family support, protection, and or the need just to talk to family comes along I hope and pray I have the compassion to answer the call because we are family.
Four generations of women in one family

Grandma Snyder

©2013-2014 twosnydergirls
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